Why Did the Chicken...?

Why Did the Chicken...? is a party game from Play Again Games. In the game, players try to come up with the best punch lines for randomly-generated joke. I've collected my favorite answers from our gaming group here.


How do you make a chimpanzee resemble a chemistry teacher?:

Jeff - Remove 3 teeth.

Jeff - Evolve.

Jeff - De-evolve.

Jeff - 14 years of junior college.

Mandy - Name it "Jerry Lewis".

Scott - Give it a classroom of degenerates and duct tape a graduated cylinder to its hand.

Scott - Fail it at physics.

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How do you make a jack-o-lantern resemble a ladybug?:

Mandy - Replace the "n" with a "d", "t" with "y", "e" with "b", "r" with "u", and "n" with "g", then chop off the "jack-o" part.

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How do you make a marshmallow resemble a psychiatrist?:

Yoshi - Burn it until it's hard and black... on the inside.

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How do you make a piranha resemble a waitress?:

James - Put a piranha in another room and call out to it for 20 minutes. It won't come to your table, either.

James - Put a hairnet and Coke-bottle glasses on it.

James - Staple a "Hi, my name is Flo" tag to its fin.

Jeff - Put it in an apron and smack it in the ass.

Scott - Color it "minimum wage."

Scott - Tip it.

Scott - That depends. If it's working at Denny's, just give it a uniform.

Scott - Give it a dress and a smarmy attitude.

Scott - A few extra chromosomes here and there.

Yoshi - Name it Virginia.

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What did an elephant say to the werewolf?:

James - Boy... I bet you REALLY hate silver, huh?

Jeff - Hey, I remember you. We met at Allen's birthday three years, four months, and six days ago. You were wearing a child as a scarf, right?

Scott - Nothing, they're both mythical creatures.

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What do a camera and a maid have in common?:

Mandy - They're both required for "candid photography".

Scott - Both were made in Taiwan.

Scott - $9.95 a minute.

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What do a superhero and a hockey player have in common?:

James - Both use sticks to beat their wives.

James - Both are overrated as policemen.

Jeff - Only 3 teeth.

Jeff - It usually takes them both a long time to remember they're not really two people.

Jeff - They both beat people in the face with big sticks.

Mandy - Blood, bones, skin, certain limbs....

Seri - Violence is encouraged by fans.

Yoshi - The ability to beat the crap out of people and be cheered.

Yoshi - A hunger for the hearts of children.

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What do a tapeworm and coffee have in common?:

James - Both are grown in Mickey Rourke's backyard.

James - Both are brown and lickable.

Jeff - They both love RACECARS!

Yoshi - Asexual reproduction.

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What do Einstein and bubblegum have in common?:

Mandy - You find both in highschool textbooks.

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What do you get when you cross a librarian with a duck-billed platypus?:

Mandy - Nothing. Interspecies mating doesn't work.

Mandy & Scott - A duck-billed librarian.

Rustin - The lowest tier on the food chain.

Rustin - A creature more boring than a three-toed sloth.

Scott - Sandra Bullock.

Scott - An affront to nature.

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What do you get when you cross a neighborhood bully with a grave digger?:

Jeff - Small hands, smells like cadavers.

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What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a pilot?:

James - You get the finest Air Force the Arctic has ever known.

Mandy - An alliteration.

Mandy - Captain Kirk.

Mandy - A flying polar bear... duh.

Mandy - Bestiality.

Scott - A polite...

Scott - The Polar Express.

Scott - A very full cockpit.

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What happened at the wedding of a cop and cheese?:

James - The cop arrested his limburger-in-law for indecent exposure.

Jeff - Someone cut the cheese by mistake.

Mandy - They had wedding cheesecake.

Scott - Everyone had a gouda time.

Scott - They broke a pinata.

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What happened at the wedding of a lawyer and tiger?:

Jeremy - A bloodthirsty predator found happiness with a cat.

Scott - The had Frosted Flakes... they were GREEEEEAAAAAT!

Scott - Sigfreid and Roy didn't RSVP.

Yoshi - The apocalypse.

Yoshi & Jeff - The tiger signed a pre-nup.

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What happened at the wedding of the devil and a magician?:

Mandy - Penn & Teller debunked The Bible.

Mandy - They turned water... INTO FUNK!

Scott - They had Angel Food Cake.

Scott - The magician pulled a rabbit out of his hat and the devil ATE IT ALIVE.

Scott - Nothing special.

Scott - They went to a luau... blah blah blah Hawaii.

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What happened when a frog went on a blind date with a firefly?:

James - The frog asked the firefly to go with him back to his pad.

James - Nine months later, the first sign of the apocalypse appeared.

Jeff - I don't know, the frog won't talk about it and nobody can contact the firefly.

Jeff - The frog sang "You Light Up My Life" in the karaoke bar.

Mandy - The frog ate the firefly... 'cause that's what frogs do, but then the firefly burnt the frog's tongue 'cause that's what fireflies do; so the frog was sad.

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What happened when a moth went on a blind date with a scorpion?:

Jeff - Tiny girls started to come out of a shell, then the moth grew 500 feet tall and the scorpion became radioactive... AND FIGHT!

Jeremy - They were both assassinated by the jealous butterfly... no one suspects the butterfly!

Mandy - FATALITY!

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What happened when a politician went on a blind date with a bulldozer?:

Jeff - They had a smashing good time!

Jeff - Due to a discreet zoning law the bulldozer was fined $30.

Mandy - Thus began The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Mandy - They created what 9 months later became known as "a bullitician."

Yoshi - Alaska was turned into Texas.

Yoshi - The politician ate the bulldozer.

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What happened when a teddy bear turned into penguin?:

Jeff - That (point to Mandy).

Jeff - It was shot, then stuffed again.

Jeff - Jill, a 9 year old girl in New York, woke up screaming has her favorite teddy bear became a penguin and ATE OUT HER EYES!

Mandy - It could no longer fly.

Scott - It booked a trip to the arctic... or antarctic... I forget where penguins live.

Scott - It dropped a whole bunch of letters and a space.

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What happened when a teddy bear turned into pitchfork?:

Mandy - He bloodied the laundry he'd just made Downey Soft.

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What happened when a turkey turned into wind?:

James - The universe imploded because shit like that just doesn't happen.

Jeff - It could fly at least... fucking useless wings.

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What happened when a village idiot went on a blind date with a moth?:

Scott - The village idiot finally got to find out what moth balls smell like.

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What happened when an axe murder went on a blind date with a mountain?:

Jeff - In an ironic twist, the axe murderer was eaten alive by forest dwelling chipmunks.

Scott - ...and that, kids, is how bald mountain got its name.

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What's the difference between a chihuahua and a hammer?:

James - You could use a chihuahua to fix nails to wood, but it is less efficient.

James - A chihuahua doesn't come in a stainless-steel breed, yet.

James - A hammer doesn't have to be housetrained.

Jeff - Chihuahuas have heads the size of walnuts, and hammers smash walnuts.

Mandy - Not much if you use them properly.

Mandy - About 12 letters.

Scott - You can't beat a hammer to death with a chihuahua.

Scott - You have to buy a special adaptor to put a hammer in your tool belt.

Yoshi - Hammers have an efficient purpose.

Yoshi - Hammers weren't bred for human consumption.

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What's the difference between a squid and a ballerina?:

Jeff - One is a spineless bottom feeder and the other is a a squid.

Scott - A squid uses its tentacles for something productive, whereas the ballerinas tentacles generally go unused.

Yoshi - A ballerina's beak is less obvious.

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What's the difference between the Loch Ness monster and a sports car?:

Jeff - I don't have a sports car in my pants.

Jeff - Nessie can use unleaded.

Scott - You can't pee a sports car.

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What's the last line of the book about a clown and a monkey?:

Scott - "That's the second biggest nose I've ever seen!"

Yoshi - "But the only state that would recognize their marriage as legal was Hawaii."

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What's the last line of the book about a T-Rex and a monkey?:

Jeff - "Who knew poo flinging apes would replace 60 foot tall death lizards?"

Jeff - "You idiot, they weren't even alive at the same time. I've been making all this shit up!"

Scott - "Emily the Brontosaurus slowly turned around as Constable Guybrush the cymball-clapping monkey waved goodbye."

Scott - "'See! My brains actually are made of walnuts,' said Steggy the Stegosaurus as he faded into unconsciousness."

Scott - "Ack-Chee-Oop!"

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What's the last line of the book about an eyeball and a bat?:

James - Copyright 2005, Random House Books.

Jeff - "AHHHHHHH there's a bat ripping out my eyeball as I'm writing the last line of my book!"

Scott - "Wow, I can't believe you read an entire book about an eyeball and a bat."

Scott - "Blind as a... umm... you."

Yoshi - "Society never accepted their love child."

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What's the last line of the book about ice-cream and a rock star?:

Mandy - "Ice-cream don't have bones."

Scott - "You can't dust for vanilla."

Scott - "Gives you something to hang onto... WOOF!"

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What's the line from the old song about a carpenter and a crocodile?:

Scott - "...and he always puts Skippy in my lunch."

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What's the line from the old song about the sun and a vacuum cleaner?:

James - "When you wish upon a sun, vacuum cleaners are the... uh, raz-ma-taz!"

Jeff - "The only thing that sucks more than a vacuum is the sun."

Mandy - "Oh the sun is hotter than a sea-broiled otter and the vacuum's slowly meltin' to the fiberglass floor!"

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What's the old saying about a kangaroo and a zombie?:

Mandy - "Hop & Shuffle would make a good rock song."

Mandy - "You can lead a zombie to water, but you can't make it drink... because its mouth is rotting off. Unlike a kangaroo."

Scott - "Itchy... bouncy...."

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What's the old saying about a rock star and a pitchfork?:

Jeff - "Hair metal is out, hay metal is in."

Jeff - "What's easier to get out of a truck: rock stars or bowling balls?" - Rock stars! You can use a pitchfork!"

Scott - "You can't beat your wife with a rock star."

Scott - "If a rock star is actually what it's name suggests, a celestial body made entirely of rock, then your pitchfork is useless."

Yoshi - "They'll both stab you for booze and drugs."

Yoshi - "Make sure you equip your tour bus with at least two of each."

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What's the old saying about a walrus and a king?:

James - "Bestiality should not be limited to land-bound mammals."

Scott - "You can't beat your wife with a king."

Scott - "Walrus kings have a 'tusky' odor."

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What's the punch line of the old joke about a camera and a butcher?:

Jeremy - Likes to meat people.

Mandy - And that's how Emo Photography started.

Scott - And that's how the FBI found the Donner party.

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What's the punch line of the old joke about a deer and a rhinoceros? :

Scott - "Rhinoplasty can only get you so far, my deer."

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Why did a mountain go to heaven while a reporter went to hell?:

Jeremy - Because the mountain could reach it.

Seri - A mountain goes up while a reporter digs for dirt.

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Why did a ninja go to heaven while a seahorse went to hell?:

James - Um, ninjas rock. If a seahorse rocked it'd be a rocking horse.

Jeff - It was the seahorse that dropped the fork.

Jeff - You need opposable thumbs to open the gate.

Jeff - God just doesn't like sea creatures; but ninja movies... balls yo!

Mandy - Seahorses have long noses... fuckin' Jews.

Mandy - Because the ninja was a fluffy chinchilla.

Mandy - Because committing seppuku with a frisbee is more noble than peeing in water.

Scott - Two words: NIN-JA

Scott - The ninja had more raz-ma-taz!

Scott - Seppuku is very noble actually. The only noble thing a seahorse can do is accidentally get eaten by a whale. How noble is that?

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Why did a pimple go to hell while a cheetah when to heaven?:

Mandy - Contrary to popular belief, cheetah's do prosper.

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Why does a banana hate beer?:

James - Long long ago, the people known as the Banananans came to befriend the lost culture of Beeramians. It wasn't too long before the Beeram's took advantage of the Banananan's generosity and spread wildness abound. And then, the world ended. Twice.

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Why does a barber want to be a boxer?:

Jeff - 'Cause when boxers tear off peoples' ears they get on T.V.

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Why does a chicken always win a fight with a clown?:

Jeremy - The chicken is higher in the pecking order.

Jeremy - Because people stop when a chicken crosses the road.

Jeremy - Because the chicken keeps on fighting even without its head.

Mandy - Because the chicken plays lots of Soul Calibur.

Seri - Because Peter's coupon was rejected.

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Why does a computer always win a fight with a UFO?:

Scott - He RAMs it.

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Why does a hockey player want to be a butcher?:

Mandy - It's a promotion -- now he can use weapons!

Mandy - Less blood.

Mandy - Same job; more hours.

Mom - So he can beat the crap out of dead animals instead of live ones.

Mom - So he can wear a groovy handle bar mustache like Daniel-Day Lewis.

Mom - Blood, guts, ice, refrigerator... need I say more?

Scott - A butcher doesn't go in the penalty box.

Uncle Michael - Woohoo -- free meat.

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Why does a maid love a pigeon?:

Jeremy - With a nice orange sauce.

Jeremy - The pigeon doesn't come home drunk and beat the maid.

Jeremy - Tastes better than the crap she's fed at home.

Scott - She gets paid by the hour and it takes a long time to clean up pigeon shit.

Scott - It was a match maid in heaven.

Seri - A pigeon doesn't have pubic hair.

Yoshi - The maid was named Scott.

Yoshi - The pigeon was incredibly romantic, and rich.

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Why does a mushroom hate a postal worker?:

Jeff - 'Cause the mailman is full of shit-aki.

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Why does a pirate love a goldfish?:

James - For reasons beyond riches, if you get my drift.

Mandy - Well those months out at sea are pretty lonely....

Scott - Because they're soooo delicious.

Scott - The goldfish is a mythical beast the size of ten men with a head entirely of gold. It sank to the bottom of the ocean upon its birth.

Yoshi - The goldfish had a good personality.

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Why does a plumber want to be the moon?:

Mandy - So people will stop saying "That's no moon!"

Mandy - So he'll have an even bigger crater.

Scott - Because he wants to affect the tides.

Yoshi - Because the moon is made of walnuts and the plumber loves walnuts.

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Why does a scorpion always win a fight with a T-Rex?:

Mandy - GET OVER HERE!

Scott - The dinosaur's brain is the size of a walnut... and scorpions hate walnuts.

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Why does a secretary love a magnet?:

Jeff - Magnets act as a form of currency amongst all secretaries.

Mandy - She's a fuckin' woman, she'll take what she can get.

Scott - She's just so attracted to it!

Scott - She can only think of positive things to say about it.

Yoshi - Opposites attract.

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Why does a telemarketer want to be a cricket?:

James - Jungle fever, baby!

James - He had a hunger for bugs, but as a cricket it would be natural.

Jeff - He has always dreamed of playing the violin, but the arthritis ended that dream before it could begin.

Jeremy - Because no one hangs up when a cricket makes noise at night.

Mandy - Because she's terminally depressed and crickets have shorter lifespans.

Scott - He wanted to be higher on the food chain.

Scott - He always liked heckling bad comedians.

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Why does poop always win a fight with a millionaire?:

Jeff - Superior firepower.

Mandy - The Great Mighty Poo > People who win "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?"

Scott - Because the poop is OUT OF CONTROL!

Scott - Millionaires are made of money and poop hates money.

Scott - Because the only thing that survives poop's wrath is sweetcorn.

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Why is a bus envious of a garbage collector?:

Scott - The garbage collector has to pick up less trash.

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Why is a chameleon afraid of a pocket watch?:

Mandy - Because the pocket watch has a color of its own.

Mandy - Because the watch has a shirt that says "Chameleonic life forms? NO THANKS!"

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Why is a chicken better than a catapult?:

Jeff - "Chicken" is the military's new code word for the hand-held-stealth-catapult.

Jeff - Chickens are better at giving blow jobs to sharks.

Mandy - Because they can give sharks blow jobs.

Scott - Because if it wasn't you'd end up with a chicken-a-pult and a cat-pot-pie.

Scott - Shark blow jobs... need I say more?

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Why is a drunk better than a rabbit?:

Jeff - Because rabbits eat walnuts and apparently everyone hates walnuts.

Mandy - Opposable digits, duh.

Mandy - Small hands, smells like urine.

Scott - Because you can't pass off what a rabbit inevitably does as a "Jackson Pollock".

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Why is a reporter envious of a pizza?:

Jeff - People like pizza.

Jeff - People think pizza is hot.

Jeremy - Pizza always means good news.

Mandy - Because men actually pick up pizzas.

Scott - He wasn't so much "envious" as he was "hungrY" and the answer is pretty simple.

Scott - He's always liked Z's and pizza has two!

Scott - I don't know... I'm not one to pry.

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Why is an actor afraid of a gorilla?:

Scott - He saw Jaws, he's not stupid! ...oh wait that was a shark.

Scott - Three words: More opposable digits.

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Why is an alarm clock afraid of God?:

Mandy - Because when it goes off God has to stop writing answers and God doesn't like that.

Yoshi - The alarm clock was made of walnuts and God hates walnuts.

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Why is chocolate afraid of a ballerina?:

Jeff - Ballerinas have frighteningly high quantities of the deadly substance known as raz-ma-taz.

Jeff - Because the chocolate was low-fat, dun-dun-dun!

Jeff - All chocolate has a pink-phonbia.

Scott - Ballerinas have beaks.

Scott - I really don't know; Chocolate's chief predator is a depressed housewife.

Scott - Because the radical surgery done to the chocolate bar to give it human emotions left it chronically afraid of ballerinas.

Yoshi - Ballerinas are demonic flame dancers, and chocolate melts in Hellfire.

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